NOLA//SUGAR

The Office

As is the case for most of us during the week, I am at work almost 60% of my waking hours.  When you think of it in those terms, it’s actually a lot of time.  To prevent myself from going stir crazy (especially since I’m in an office with no windows), I’ve gradually attempted to make my office feel a little more like home by bringing in things like a friend’s photography, photos of family/friends and their children, cards, and various other mementos.  Hope everyone is enjoying their week, xo!

 

 

 

... and y'all thought I threw away your photo cards!

 

 

photos by Jana

 

 

 

 

 

 

vintage map of NOLA + wall calendar

 

The Kindness of Strangers

 

photo courtesy of Mandy Thomas

 

'Whoever you are,  I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.'

-Tennessee Williams, "A Streetcar Named Desire"

It occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that, while it’s obvious I would be nowhere without my friends and family and their support, I’ve also unconsciously relied pretty heavily on the goodwill of people I don’t even know.  It’s not the big things, either.  It’s the little things, here and there, that add up to such a great sum.

The most prominent example I have of this is a flashback: Mardi Gras, 2004, New Orleans, Marriott Hotel on Canal Street.  I was 19 years old, full of alcohol and emotional angst, and in a ridiculously emotionally abusive relationship.  After a particularly hateful exchange with my then-boyfriend, I had retreated to the hotel for some alone time and somehow found myself despondent and sobbing in the hallway.  To this day, I have no idea how this happened, but a man turned the corner, saw me crying, and immediately knelt and held me until I stopped.  He told me everything was going to be okay without asking what was wrong or prying for details.  He was just there.  And then he left.  I know I was young, but that memory has never left me.  As it turned out, life went on, and things were more than okay, but I couldn’t have imagined that was possible back then.  It still blows my mind that a complete stranger stopped to comfort me when he could’ve easily walked on by.

And so I’d like to just thank the people who will never read this – thank you for doing things for me when you didn’t have to, for giving me faith in humanity, for making me want to try to be a better person.  Specifically, thank you for:

*paying for my coffee in the drive-thru line

*letting me check out ahead of you when you had a cartful of groceries and I only had a few items

*giving me your seat in the front of the plane so I would be able to make my connecting flight

*granting me a scholarship my senior year of college without ever meeting me

*turning my gas pump off when it failed to stop automatically and gas began spilling all over my car

*stopping to give me a ride when my car broke down on the side of the road

*giving me change to feed the meter

*mailing me my driver’s license after you found it in the French Quarter

*checking my tire pressure and never charging me

*painting over the scrape on my old car

*... and many other incidents I’ve long forgotten

PS -  I’ve been surrounded by dandelions everywhere, in a strangely prominent way .. . Literally could not get one off my shoe last week, then started seeing them at every turn.  Finally got around to looking it up and it turns out it they’re a longstanding symbol for good things and wishes coming true.  So here’s to that.  xo

Week 11: Loving Touch

Wrap-Up:  Week 10 (Every Time the Phone Rings ...)

I’m completely aware of the fact it’s been way too long between updates; however, I’m happy to report that I single-handedly wrote thirteen Jazz Fest-related articles for goNOLA over the last six weeks!   While I’m excited about that, between doing the articles and working at the hospital, my brain and creative energies feel a bit overworked.  Add to the mix: quite a bit of weekend travel and an increased workload (due to the hospital moving to online order entry for physicians in a few weeks) and the end result is my life at present.  So, bear with me.  Sometimes I feel like I’m barely taking care of myself properly. 

Anyhow, my last mindfulness assignment was to take three deep, mind-cleansing breaths before answering the phone.   I work in the Education & Research department, which means I help to teach or facilitate a lot of different things.  Naturally, this also means that I get a lot of questions.  Our online training system, which I manage, is not the most user-friendly or intuitive system to use, and so on a daily basis, I answer a lot of questions about how to do routine things like register for classes or re-take a failed module.  After a while, it’s easy to become frustrated and feel like I’m explaining the same thing over and over again, which for me can feel like a waste of time and energy. 

I tried this exercise for a solid two weeks.  The benefit of me doing yoga regularly is that my body is now primed to think that a deep breath means it’s time to relax and let it go.  So, this actually did work for me.  I was able to talk to people more patiently and retain my sense of humor in trying situations.  I know I’ve made substantial progress because today, I was the only person in the office, and even though I was surrounded by people with questions and drop-ins all day, I felt very calm, even when I didn’t know the answers.  I felt more … present.  As the book says:

“So much of our life is lived unconsciously and in haste.  What are we rushing toward?  Instead of living fully in the moment, we are always moving forward, grabbing at the next minute, the next hour, the next day.  We drag our state of mind, like a bag of garbage, from one encounter to the next.”

And it’s true.  What lies in the future, other than what I’m creating right now in this very moment? 

Something crazy happened this week: on Monday, we arrived at work to find our phone systems completely down.  They’re still working to bring the phone lines up one by one, but I think we’re pretty close to the bottom of the priority list (obviously, patients and nursing units come first).  I have to admit, I’ve been enjoying the silence, but I know the calls will start rolling in soon enough and I think this exercise brought my attention to something that seems small but can have a big impact.  One of my personal goals this year is to be more patient with others, just in general, so we’ll see how it goes.  xo

Week 11 Assignment:  Loving Touch

Use loving hands and a loving touch, even with inanimate objects.

Easter Weekend

I spent the holiday weekend in Destin, Florida, and it was nothing less than perfect: amazing weather, beautiful sunsets, good food, and great company.  I actually finished close to four books this weekend, which is something I haven't done in years.  I only just realized I barely took pictures of anything besides the ocean, which I suppose is appropriate since it's the place I've always felt most at home.  Wishing everyone a Happy Easter, xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you hold to Nature, to the simplicity that is in her, to the small detail that scarcely one man sees, which can so unexpectedly grow into something great and boundless ... then everything will become easier for you, more coherent and somehow more conciliatory, not perhaps in the understanding, which lags wondering behind, but in your innermost consciousness, wakefulness and knowing.

-Rilke

Sunday Thoughts

Here are some words I'm finding particularly inspirational lately.  Wishing you a great start to your week!

 

When I was young, writing was like falling in love.  There was this complete loss of self.  The experience was all-encompassing ... you can't live like that forever.  It's got to be sustaining.  [There is that] deep, true part of myself that I can always count on.  That's where writing lies, and that's where love lies.

- Ann Patchett

 

magazine street storefront

 

You never know what will set you off.  When you are in touch with yourself and receptive to new things, that's really how anyone gets an idea.

- Marc Jacobs

 

xo

 

...the mountains and rivers and all living things, the sky and its sun and moon and clouds, all constitute a healing, sustaining, sacred presence for humans, which they need as much for their psychic integrity as for their physical nourishment.

- Thomas Berry

 

 

Week 10: Every Time the Phone Rings ...

Wrap-Up:  Week 9  (Listen to Sounds)

For a while now, I've been almost creepily obsessed with my neighbor.  I have no idea whether this person is male or female, or what he or she looks like.  What I do know is that my bathroom wall is shared with a room in this person's home, and that s/he plays many instruments - beautifully, I might add - and practices often, usually at night.  It's almost become a bad romantic comedy: I hear the first strings being plucked or notes being played, and I rush to prepare a hot bubble bath so I can read magazines and lounge in the warm water while listening to my personal one-(wo)man show. 

Anyway, this week's mindfulness exercise made me think even more about the sounds around me, and when I slowed down to truly concentrate, music is everywhere:  jingling bracelets on a woman's arm, keys in a runner's hand on the track, people's bike chains rattling, children laughing in the distance.  It truly is calming if you're filtering it, with intention, through a positive mindset.  As the book states: "Listening is an excellent way to disengage from the endless ruminations of the anxious mind."

I knew I needed to update my blog with these thoughts, but for some reason I kept putting it off, and last night as I showered, I came to the conclusion that our moods are really nothing more than the sum total of the various stimuli we are absorbing from our environments at any given time.  So why not pay attention to the small things, or choose to be positive, in hopes that it will have some small effect on your day, overall?  It only makes sense.  It's at least worth a shot. 

Then, as I turned off the water, I heard it - not music, not my neighbor preparing to practice, but a muffled, intimate sound through the wall.  And I suddenly realized that there were two people, right on the other side of my wall, sharing a very private moment with one another.  And though this sounds incredibly weird (and no, I did not press my ear against the wall), it made me feel very comforted to know that love really is everywhere.  And I was so happy that I had waited to update just one day longer than I should have, so I could add that little bit of sunshine right here at the end of my post.  xo

Week 10 Assignment:  Every Time the Phone Rings

Each time you hear a telephone ring, chime, or buzz, stop what you are doing and take three mindful breaths to settle the mind before answering.  (If you are a receptionist, you may need to shorten this to one or two breaths.  The point is to pause and take at least one deep, cleansing breath before answering the call of the bell.)

If you get very few calls a day on your telephone, set an alarm to ring several times a day, using a long but unusual interval, such as every fifty-three minutes.  When the alarm rings, stop and breathe.

Crazy Little Thing Called Spring

Spring: it's here (informally, anyway - I realize it's not official until Tuesday) and it couldn't be lovelier!  Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, and people are out and about.  Here are some pictures from my walk in Audubon Park today.  Have a great week!  xo

 

I have become my own version of an optimist.  If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door.  Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

-Rabindranath Tagore

 

 

 

 

 

Week 9: Listen to Sounds

Wrap-Up:  Week 8 (Gratitude at the End of the Day)

It turns out remembering to sit and write down what I’m grateful for was much harder than it sounded initially.  I struggled with the thought that this was just another item on my to-do list, something else to worry about throughout the day.  What I found, however, was that on the six days I was able to remember to grab my journal before bed and reflect on my day, it actually proved to be a very calming exercise.  It’s encouraging to realize (and quite easy to fail to notice) just how many small, yet extremely impactful, things happen on a daily basis.

Things I’ve been reminded of:  People can amaze you, if you’re paying enough attention.  My family cares.  My friends are incredibly smart, beautiful, and insightful individuals.  There’s always more of this city to explore.  Mad Men and birthday cake Oreos are equally addictive (hey, frivolity is necessary in life – this made it on to my list nearly every day!)  Generosity is rewarded, even if it takes a while.  Inspiration can be hard to come by and should be appreciated when received, especially when received in bulk.  Lastly, three-day weekends are a luxury and should be taken as often as professionally possible (I had to work this past weekend but I have one coming up, and I didn't even realize how much I'm truly looking forward to it). 

I’m being honest when I say I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep this up, in addition to my daily writing, but it’s a very sweet thing to reflect on a week’s worth of written thoughts and remember things that had already been relegated to the back of my mind – my boss bringing me homemade tomato soup, a boost of energy when I made it through my caffeine withdrawals, unexpectedly receiving a gift in the mail.

As the book states, "The past is gone.  We cannot change its outcome, except by changing ourselves, and that can only be done in the present."  I couldn't have needed to hear that more than I do right now, and my goal, for today at least, is to focus on the present instead of continuously ruminating on the last few years of my life.  xo

 Week 9 Assignment:  Listen to Sounds

Several times a day, stop and just listen.  Open your hearing 360 degrees, as if your ears were giant radar dishes.  Listen to the obvious sounds, and the subtle sounds - in your body, in the room, in the building, and outside.  Listen as if you had just landed from a foreign planet and didn't know what was making these sounds.  See if you can hear all sounds as music being played just for you.

An Extra Day

 

As you may know, I've got a special place in my heart for notebooks, magazines, the smell of new books, libraries, bookstores, paperies, cards ... I'm just completely obsessed with words.  Since I was a little girl, not many things have excited me more than a brand-new notebook:  the blank pages practically beg for direction, for imagination, for creativity. 

Like most people, I am my own worst enemy at times and I will talk myself out of writing for the most ridiculous reasons: I need to go to the store!  I need to call a friend!  I should catch up on reading today!  ...so it's been nothing short of a miracle that I've carved out the time to actually write, every single day, for the last five weeks, and I've filled up an entire journal for the first time in I-don't-know-how-long.  It's a pretty big deal.  To celebrate, I pulled out all my half-filled notebooks, planners, journals, and random pages (I even found a poem I'd scribbled on receipt paper) and reminisced on the past 13 or so years of my life.  Doing what you were made for: it's a great feeling.  Take that, Leap Year!  xo

2012 Carnival

Here are some shots from the last week or so, which I have to admit is a bit of a blur.  I'm more than ready to accept some detoxing into my life in the form of giving up meat and caffeine for Lent.  (I'm planning to allow an occasional piece of fish into my diet to make this transition a little bit easier.)  Current goals include: making a 2012 vision board, finishing the latest Jeffrey Eugenides novel (I feel like I've been reading it for months, but I could just be dragging it out because I love his prose), and sticking to my budget next month.  Also, definitely looking forward to springtime in New Orleans.  xo

 

Muses Parade

Superbowl Champion float (part of Muses)

Endymion Parade

Endymion

Mardi Gras Day Parades

Baby Ronan ... he's so precious, it *almost* makes me want one of my own!

 

those cheeks!  those eyes!

my vegetarian gumbo

view from Bourbon St. balcony on Lundi Gras night